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365 grateful project (count=42)

+It’s beginning to feel like winter; warm sake (Izumi) is a great prelude to coffee (Balzac’s)
+Hearing Gabriel Palatchi Septet play Chilangotango and Libertango at the Rex
+In three days, Mum and Dad and I will begin our two week trip from San Diego to Carmel

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what matters most: part ii

For the past nine months, I have struggled with the idea of going to Asia to work. I whined about how easy it is for guys to find supportive wives and how hard it is for women to find supportive husbands. I went through a break up. I cried. By now, I have told everybody: no, I’m not going. And I feel okay. Which is really amazing.

A couple possible reasons for why I feel okay.

+ Two years ago, a very senior person at Manulife moved his family for his job. His daughter was unhappy. Recently, his wife and daughter moved back to where they came from. Gender roles or not, optimizing career and family is a crazy thing that may or may not work out.

+ For the past month, I have been dating someone that did long distance so that the girl he was seeing can be adventurous with her career. The relationship did not work out. Supportive or not, optimizing career and family is a crazy thing that may or may not work out.

No, you can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need

img src=flavorwire

365 grateful project (count=39)

+Found a cool gift to give

+The Story: An Outdoor Movable Play at Brickworks preceded by wandering through the forest in the not-quite-dark

365 grateful project (count=37)

+ beautiful end to long day at work …

+ my favorite at UT Undergraduate Art & Architecture Show

+ 37 > 10% x 365

what matters most

I always struggle with the transition from dating (which tends to be structured) to hanging out (which tends to be more fluid).

A typical conversation …
Ex: You can’t deal with uncertainty.
Me: I have no desire to deal with uncertainty due to lack of planning.

Saturday, the plan was coffee (ideal temperature at fahrenheit), dinner (amazing smoked mackerel salad at hiro sushi), his friend’s housewarming party or some permutation thereof. The intention was to grab a bottle of chateauneuf du pape somewhere along the way. I tried to go along with it but the tension kept building up in my head (e.g. I can’t believe I’m dating someone who thinks it’s a great idea to randomly wander around in search of a potentially open LCBO). I couldn’t help but take charge of the situation (i.e. looking up store hours on the LCBO website and insisting that we go to the closest open location ASAP).

Today, I’m thinking: What’s the point of being hyper efficient with regard to things that don’t really matter and creating unnecessary tension in relationships, what matters most?

cafe de flore

“everything seemed dead on perfect.

Which might seem a bit funny to say when you hear the synopsis of the plot: High flying DJ with a great life bemoans leaving his beautiful wife for an even more beautiful woman while a mother struggles to take care of her Down’s Syndrome child in a parallel story from 40 years before. For awhile it seems like the only two things that connect the stories is a song by the name of Cafe de Flore

The song, though terribly catchy, isn’t necessarily notable, but it’s what it signifies to both the DJ (Antoine) and the young Down’s Syndrome boy that matters. For each, it’s a source of happiness and restores their life force. For Antoine, it reminds him specifically of the moment when he met his second soul mate and the silly song has now become a central part of his life.

The film absolutely takes off for the stratosphere around this time as Vallee starts to crosscut between the different stories with an almost wild abandon at times. One of the movie’s best sequences uses a Sigur Ros song (Svefn-G-Englar)

In a montage of scenes that pushes the themes of the film forward and creates further tension, Vallee creates a breathless sprint that washes over the viewer. It doesn’t matter if you don’t pick up every detail – the feelings and intent come across easily as the story lines hurtle towards a head-on meeting and the emotional attachments to these flawed but interesting people grow and help bring about a lovely resolution.”

365 grateful project (count=34)

image from a cup of jo

• “My friends Susan Cernek and Rob Giampietro framed this receipt from their first trip to Paris together in 2006. They’d had two coffees at the Cafe de Flore, and now the receipt hangs in their kitchen, as a lovely reminder.”
• Listening to Cafe De Flore (Club Mix) by Disco Attack.
• Amazing hotpot with Mum + Dad featuring oysters.
• Looking forward to Pina (December 23).
• “Old Spice Matterhorn smells so much like a fresh mountain that if your lady friends ever summit the actual Matterhorn they’ll think, This mountain smells just like (insert your name)’s armpit.”

365 grateful project (count=29)

• Really really good cappuccino @ Sense Appeal
• Really really good Chagall @ AGO
• Really really good pinot @ cafe la gaffe

365 grateful project (count=26)

photo from Marie Claire Maison via annesage.com

• “L’enfance trouve son paradis dans l’instant. Elle ne demande pas du bonheur. Elle est le bonheur” = “Childhood finds paradise in the moment. It does not demand happiness. It is happiness.”
• Last week’s modern love essay: My mother would probably say that love transcends the zeitgeist. She does not see her experience as part of a cultural trend; it was just the way things happened for her. “I guess it was a different time,” she said when I explained some of the modern complexities we face. “But people are people, so how hard could it be?”